Hawks Win! Seahawks triumph over 9ers in epic fashion! Too many huge plays to remember!

Super Bowl XL was too big for us, we weren’t ready.  But these '13 Hawks is.  Defense wins NFC Championship, the headlines will read tomorrow.  They only tested Sherman twice all evening; his interception assist in the end zone was ridiculous, obviously the play of the game.  Or was it, even?

I can think of six other candidates which deserve consideration.  The first is the heave to Baldwin which set up the Seahawks’ only points of the first half.  Because that showed Russell wasn’t cowed.  The next is Marshawn’s beast burst with that Walter Payton kick move; sweet as every flavor of Skittles at once.  How is that corporation not paying that man?  Who is his agent, that he’s doing “Stop Freakin’, Call Beacon” instead of national “Taste the Rainbow” ads.  Third best play of the game was the fourth down hail mary touchdown to Kearse; easily the best play of any other game.  Fourth was Kaepernick running and slinging, it has to be said: dude’s an incredible athlete – but I prefer Russell’s head.  That 9ers defense was all over number 3 all night, he had to scramble backwards like his video game avatar just to get rid of it and hopefully avoid intentional grounding.  Aldon Smith got after our QB, it has to be said.  Which is why I’m looking forward to the Super Bowl.  I don’t think Denver’s got half San Fran’s defense.  And Old Manning, for whom I have nothing but the ultimate respect (his hall of fame career and his demeanor as a role model family man have inarguably exceeded any football aficionado’s hopes for someone to look up to), is gonna have to run for his life against this pumped up D-FENSE!

3 takeaways in the 4th quarter, nuff said.  Especially that gamewinner - damn!  Who deserved the game ball? Everyone.  Blue’s D-Line dominated, stuffed Gore, and the secondary the pass completely.  Yes, we did let that Irish bitch loose a few times but held firm when it counted.  Like after that first-play fumble.  Important that the D held then, and indeed, kept us in the game throughout the 1^st half.  Easily could’ve gotten out of hand there in the 2^nd quarter. 17-3, 24-3 at the intermission.  Offense wa’nt doing shit at the beginning, but I love we kept poundin it with Skittle Beast (damn he got a sweet skittle skip – and he stiffarmed A.Smith to the ground that time too, changed -5 into +2) and it opened up a couple times.  You could tell it was going to after he got ten to start the second half.  Then he busted that great one.  Place went nuts.  Then you could smell a fumble coming, and it almost happened three times but Kaepernick zipped that lazer beam to quiet us, kinda.  Then Baldwin returned that kick almost to the house!  89’s second huge play of the night.  Best play candidate because with it the Hawks regained the momentum.  What’s number six?  The 2 delay of games attributable to the 12trh man?  Very possibly.  Maybe it was that S.F. assistant’s cheap shot on the sideline – fire and fine that fucker – maybe it was that long Hauschka kick that made our hated archrivals need a touchdown to win it in our house.  Maybe it was the plays their quarterback didn’t make with his legs because of the halftime adjustments by our Defensive Coordinator.  Maybe it was one of several forgotten third-down conversions (mostly to Baldwin) with which we retained possession.  But how can anyone deny the heroics of Navarro Bowman, who got his leg broken but held on to the ball at the goal line; whose martyrdom was somehow not reviewable / challengeable.  An injustice.  I like that Marshawn, in a soccer-like gesture, gave the ball right back, out of sportsmanship.  Did y’all notice that?  Or maybe you thought it was Karma.

C’mon Skittles.  Give the man a contract.

C’mon D.  Win us one more.

Go hoist that trophy,

Bring it home, Hawks. 

Seahawk Studs Suspended for Smoking Plant Less Harmful Than Alcohol

The Seahawks will battle the Saints next Monday for first place in the NFC without two of their top defensive backs, Brandon Browner and Walter Thurmond.  Second-stringers will have to do their best to slow down Drew Brees because the starters smoked pot and got caught.  To be fair, Browner’s gotten burned a bunch this year; maybe he’s been playing baked.  But Thurmond surely hasn’t, all he’s done is relax with a joint or two rather than pound Vicoden and beer like his peers do.[1]

Yeah, Ricky Williams and Tyrion Mathieu smoked weed and maybe it messed with their heads a bit.  But it’s way better that they puffed herb than abused alcohol, isn’t it? Athletes’ bodies are fine-tuned machines, booze is horrible for them, so what - jocks don’t get to hang?  Marijuana use doesn’t signal “character issues”, it signals interesting characters, like basketball’s Bill Walton and Bison Dele.  But football players are only encouraged / allowed to be macho drunk meatheads.

What’s with all the NFL DUIs anyways?  Can’t y’all afford drivers?

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[1] SI’s Michael McKnight reports that many NFL players “see marijuana as a viable option to the pills and injections given to them by their employers to manage the side effects of their violent occupation.” (‘Joint Account, The politics of pot in professional football’, Sports Illustrated, Nov. 25, 2013)

The Trajectory of Russell Wilson’s Balls

He flings Tecmo Bowl blimpballs, easy for receivers to adjust to; his range is about 70 yards.  Kid’s got a cannon – everyone remembers his “Simultaneous Possession” hail mary to Tate.  Hawks fans also remember well number 3's heave that beat Brady last year.  His precision touchdown to Baldwin Sunday just before halftime (it must be mentioned: he manages the game well) was beautiful, it plopped down right where only his guy could catch it; above double coverage with pinpoint accuracy.

Also, Russell Wilson has courage.  And ambition and drive.  In a word, balls.  I like that he’s studious (whenever it’s the D’s turn he retires to the bench with his notebook and immerses himself in intellectual analysis of the game) does well in interviews, etcetera.  I like that he's heady: he only runs when he has to, and protects himself.  I like that he played baseball, because he knows how to slide, and can flip backhanded touchdown pitches.  I love that he sacks up in crunchtime, and that he sprints out of the pocket and threatens to run... then throws over the top like Randall Cunningham.

And I love that fact that the young man has proven himself to be a mature and capable leader.  I trust him to use the clock to his advantage, and to make something happen with his huge gun or his lightening quick pistons, and never to bitch when he gets hit.  Never to commit a personal foul (unless someone deserves it).  Never to whine about his coaches or teammates.  Certainly to appreciate Hawk Nation Fans, who have fallen in young with the brainy underdog.  Stud’s got big balls.  His potential is as sky high as his throwing style, because of his physical, emotional and intellectual IQ.